Over the past few weeks I've been struggling with this whole concept of "validation." Often during our childhood and teenage years we look for confirmation from so many different things--friends, sports, clubs, family, academics. As adults we are supposed to "out grow" these feelings or needs of validation, right? I mean, at least the STRONG desires for validation, right? Or...do our desires of validity simply switch to other, more grown -up things?
Why do we feel the need to be validated anyway? Why are we created in this manner? Do all of us, regardless of age, struggle with this, or is it just me? I feel so childish having these feelings and questions at the age of 35. I mean, we seek to perform well in our jobs and activities; we all look for those "atta boys" and "atta girls," and we all like to here "job well done." How many of us DON'T enjoy those pats on the back and words of affirmation from colleagues, bosses, family members, friends, and even STRANGERS? But how many of us ACTIVELY SEEK validation from these people and things? Surely I am not the only one...
I often think that I am being hypocritical because I tell my kids not to worry about what others think of them, yet I do the COMPLETE opposite of what I teach them. Why is it so hard to "practice what we preach" to our kids? We are supposed to be examples for them! The Father has charged us with teaching our children to trust solely in HIM and to seek validation strictly from HIM, and we are to do the same...but it's SO...STINKIN'...HAAAAARRRRRRD!
When I was in college a few (x 5) years ago I read this verse in Colossians that I felt was perfect for that particular time in my life. The verse goes something like this..."For you are complete in Him, the head of all principality and power." (Col 2:10 KJV) At that time the verse was a reminder that I didn't need a significant other to make me complete; all I needed was HIM. These days the verse takes on a completely different meaning for me as I'm struggling with this validation thing. I tend to exchange the word "complete" with "validated" (Shhhh! Don't tell my Father-in-Law.) and rest in this truth.
Colossians 3:23-24 (KJV) reminds us "whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ." I tell my kids this quite frequently; I remind myself of this not as frequently. But regardless of what I'm doing it should be for the Lord and not for man.
I've learned that seeking validation from The Father requires me to be quiet. For those of you who know me, this is rather difficult! I am NOT a quiet person; I like, no LOVE, to talk; I'm a teacher by profession. And in order for me to learn to seek validation solely from Christ I have to be quiet...THIS IS HYSTERICAL!!! And another post for another day......
Sheree it is not odd that you seek validation nor are you alone. But as you say, it does matter who we want to validate our efforts and as Believers don't we all long for the day we hear "Well done good and faithful servant."
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