Over the past few months my "Mama heart" has been on a roller-coaster of sorts with all of these "seasons of life" and "matters under heaven." Lives flourishing, families taking root, little ones fighting so hard to be brave until the very end. Even within my own little extended family we have had some CRA-Z "matters under heaven" that have made me question God's reasoning, cry for understanding, rejoice for new life, and laugh because His timing is definitely not ours.
As an older sister, I feel that it is my DUTY to take care of my "little sis" and tell her EVERYTHING I know. I even like to tell her stuff that I know will make her squeamish just so I can watch her facial expressions. I derive much joy from watching "little sis" get grossed out! Here lately she's been asking a few questions that could result in REALLY GROSS answers ~ she's asking birthing questions. Hahaha!!!! As a first time mom, "little sis" is nervous and excited. She is anxious and at times overwhelmed. She's got a lot on her mind and is trying to adjust to many new situations...new job, new home, new family...yep, right now for her is SUPER CRA-Z-Z (yea, that's a double 'Z' at the end to signify the intensity of the situation). As a "fixer," I want to just get everything taken care of for her. I want to make my lists, get everything in order, plan her LIFE, and tell her EXACTLY what to do because I obviously know the answers to everything since I've had 4 crazies and "little sis" is just now working on her first! Bahahahaha!! POSH! I don't know jack, and I simply pray each day that I haven't messed up my own kids that God has given me to shepherd. Relinquishing control is really hard to do ~ ~ and so is keeping my mouth shut when advice has not been asked of me. I simply want everything to be perfect for "little sis."
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| "Little Sis," "Big Papa," and "Baby Laird" |
A few posts back (two to be exact) I made mention of my sweet "little" sister-in-law that is moving to Africa in a few weeks. She's expecting a baby too!! I'm SO excited about being an aunt two times in one year, but again I want to meddle. At least for "little sis-in-law" this isn't her first go round (it's actually her 4th), so she's pretty well seasoned with this whole parenting thing. But I mean...A-F-R-I-C-A!! She's actually going to be having a baby...IN...AFRICA! Like the jungle, next to giraffes and lions and hyenas and zebras and cheetahs and stuff...Ok, so not really with all of those animals; "little sis-in-law" will have great medical care thanks to the IMB (International Mission Board) but still...it's AFRICA!! Selfishly I think about not being able to hold or squish or kiss or sniff THIS little blessing for a couple of years!!
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| "Sweet Sis-in-Law," "Spectacular Bro-in-Law," "Sweet Baby Biscuit," and a Hello Kitty band-aid. |
Again, I question God's timing and wonder "Why?" but trust completely in HIS perfect plan. Thankful that I am not responsible for making the big important decisions, I rest comfortably in these lyrics by Owl City..."from life's first cry, to final breath; Jesus commands my destiny."
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what was planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
So sweet. God will work it all out for everyone. But still . . .AFRICA??!!!
ReplyDeleteSo sweet. God will work it all out for everyone. But still . . .AFRICA??!!!
ReplyDelete